Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Hump Day

Happy Hump day :) I know I am excited that in less than two days it will be a new year. God knows this year has been horrible for me. I am headed to bed but I can not wait till tomorrow so that I can write my changes post. I have been thinking about it all day. All the changes I am going to make in my life next year. Just wanted to pop on fast and say good night.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Christmas 2010

I am so happy that this day is over. I normally love Christmas, but not this year. We have had such a run of bad luck and I have been so down that I just could not get into the spirit this year. I stayed up very late to clean the house. We got up about nine this morning to watch the kids open presents. I was not able to get them much, I think that's part of the reason I was so upset. I know that Christmas is about so much more than that but I like to make  my kids happy. Its amazing how fast kids change. My granddaughter last month at her first birthday party wanted  nothing to do with opening her gifts. Today she opened them like a pro, she took  her time and fully inspected what she got. We had to pry the toys away to get her to the next one or we would still be sitting there. After presents we all relaxed for a while. My step daughter and her boyfriend stopped over for a while. Its nice to see her happy and pregnant. Our relationship has not been the same for a long time. That's a subject for another day. She is having my first grandson. Braydon Michael. I totally love that name. After their visit we went to moms for dinner. It was nice but Troy was not feeling well so we were only there for a couple of hours. Since Delilah was at her dads for a couple of hours I am going to bring her to moms in the morning for her to open her gifts. My daughter and her x have decided to try shared custody. We had her all this week and he will take her tomorrow until next Sunday. I am going to miss her. It seems like all I do anymore is stress though. I worry about how Sam is taking care of her, if she gets fed ...the list goes on. Next Friday Sam is moving out and moving into an apartment with three of her friends. One of the girls has a baby and one on the way. I am already worried.  I always thought the older the kids got, the easier it would get. How wrong I was. I wish we could go back to the days of playing barbies and coloring.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas and Santa brought you everything you wanted!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

One of Delilah's Christmas dresses

No matter how bad my life seems all I have to do is look at this little girl and all my troubles go away if even just for a little bit.

A year in review sorta

2010 has by far been a horrible year in so many ways. There were good things that happened don’t get me wrong, but the bad out weighed the bad. I have been blessed with a beautiful granddaughter. What a personality that she already has already. This year I went back to school and while it has been challenging and some days sucks, I do like it. It  makes me proud of myself. I have been getting for the most part good grades. I never got grades like this while I was in high school. Troy and I got remarried this year with our kids there with us. For most of 2010, I was unemployed and I did finally get a job in September. I like my job and all that I am learning. Though I can say all the things I need to study for work to pass my state and federal tests, is very hard on top of my regular school things. The biggest issue this year of course was money. After not working for so long it is taking a while to dig out of the hole. Every time I think it is getting better something goes wrong. This month alone, my blazer needed over a thousand dollars worth of work done to it, my furnace has broken down two times and so many other things. I have faith that 2011 is going to be a better year. If I have to I will get a second job and I will get my motivation back for school. I have to get myself out of this funk and realize all of the beautiful things in this life. The little things I take for granted. My kids are healthy and no matter what I love them. I have a roof over my head and I do have a  job that I like. I have a great husband that no matter how much he frustrates me sometimes, we are good together. I have an amazing grandbaby and two more on the way.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to the simple days. The days where Troy was still healthy and I was able to stay home with the kids. We did not have much but we also did not have many bills.
Anyway enough moaning. I had off today and slept in a bit. I than took Tori and Delilah to work with me for my cookie exchange. Ive never done one before but what a great idea. Since I work in a small office I only had to make 8 dozen cookies and came home with 8 dozen different kinds. My favorites were the snicker-doodles and the potato candy. Two more days of work and than off for three. Even though I can not get much for the kids, I love my family and being with them is worth more than anything else.