Saturday, November 13, 2010

Bad Bad Me

Delilah's first Halloween
I know its been forever since I last posted. I am really going to try and change that. I mean I spend an enormous amount of time on the internet when I am doing school work. Five minutes out of my Farmville, umm I mean school work wont hurt me ..Right? Honestly I see stuff all the time, I would love to share with my readers. Well actually 1 reader but whose counting. I know I wont get any followers if I don't post. Nothing that new here, my job is going well. School is going. I still have a 3.8 GPA but I am tired. I have lost most of that OMG, I'm a college student high. It could also have something to do with the fact that I am working 10 to 12 hour days and when I get home all I can think about it my bed. I did go to my boss and ask to be put back on 8 hour days for my sanity. Things around here have been stressed to say the least. Money is tight, It always has been but I am trying to dig us out of the hole from being out of work for as long as I was. My electric bill is sky high and they do not negotiate much in terms of payment arrangements. Why would they, they know there is no where else to get electric from around here. This is the first year ever that I am not sure if we are having Thanksgiving dinner and Christmas, the thought of it brings me to tears.
My house looks like a tornado has come through it. This more than anything upsets me. I can deal with money issues but I hate coming home at night to what I have been. The new puppy is destructive, I know need to replace my couch as well as fix a wall. Oh and steam clean the carpets. The rest of the mess is just  my kids being lazy. They are not little anymore, and there is no excuse for it. Yes, I leave messes in my room but the one thing I can say is, I do not bitch much about their space. If they wanna sleep in a gross room than so be it.
On a brighter note, my granddaughter will be one in about a week. Man where has the time gone. She is very independent and has been walking for 3 months already. She has her mother and fathers temper and already acts like them lol. I went with them trick or treating and she was so much fun. I think I have mentioned it before but my other daughter is pregnant as well. This brings me to a whole other set of emotions and anxiety, but I will save that for another day.
Today is the day of my step-daughters baby shower. I am not going. The girls did decide to go. This was supposed to be a happy day for me but instead I am sad. Sad that her mother is now her biggest supporter, where was she her whole life? Sad that I was not asked to help with the baby shower and sad that she never comes around anymore. On top of the anger I have been feeling towards her to things she said when her dad and I were separated. Maybe I am being selfish, but this how I feel.

Our new puppy Molly taking a ride with Daddy
The new grandbaby I call it Noodle.
                                       Our new puppy Molly going for a ride with daddy!
Mimi's Girl
Lets go Trick or Treating !!


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